Halloween with the Laguz
by Eladard Kikur
Summary: When the laguz celebrate Halloween, they mean business! What kind of pranks will befall upon laguz haters such as Soren?


The Greil mercenaries were staying at a laguz village on Halloween. Not much has happened since staying in the village, no hate crimes against the beorc or anything of the sort. Course, the laguz haters in the mercenary group kept their mouths shut about how much better they are compared to those good-for-nothing sub-humans. It's almost time for the best holiday in the world: Halloween!

Some of the members purchased pumpkins to form jack-o'-lanterns, while some decided to make costumes. The candy was also bought, but in huge quantities since Ranulf explained to the beorcs how serious Halloween is taken in Gallia. "There was that one time when I went out trick-or-treating with some other kids in my village and we got to a house where the idiot there had ran out of candy! Let's just say that the house looked like one giant omelet that's ready to be cooked!"

Titania was attempting to give some of the Greil mercenaries a lesson in carving a pumpkin. If it were a training session to prepare for the next battle, everyone else would die in the battle. Already were there smashed pumpkins and "pumpkin guts" all over the tables, floors, and even on the clothes!

"Can we _please_ carve a face on a pumpkin instead of attempting to slaughter it to death?" pleaded the near-Jeigan.

"Sorry about that," apologized the carvers.

"And put your axe away, Boyd. It's not helping."

"Sorry, Titania." Boyd dropped the axe and picked up a pumpkin knife and attempted to carve a face on the pumpkin.

"What am I going to do with you…" she sighed.

The door opened and in walked the laguz followed by Mist, Rolf, and Ike. They were all carrying barrels and sacks of sweet candy.

"Haa… haa… We're back," panted Ike.

"Wow, you guys did a good job. What kinds did you buy?" asked Oscar.

"Hand over the candy corn and I promise I will be nice to the suh—I mean to the laguz," said Soren as he came down the stairs.

"Sorry, Soren. We didn't buy candy corn," replied Ike.

"You didn't buy—! Grr… What kind of moron would forget the candy corn!" Soren pouted.

"They didn't have any and no it's not because we're shopping on Halloween. The laguz have lots of different types of candy, most are kinds that beorcs don't have," said Mist. She opened a sack and handed the gothic mage a flat piece of chewy candy.

"What is it?" he asked.

"It's called sweetbread and it's one of the kinds of candy they have," Mist replied matter-of-factly.

Soren examined it a bit, then took a huge bite out of the sweetbread. He chewed it for a few seconds before his face grimaced and he began to gag. He threw it down and began to spit like crazy.

"Ugh! **WHAT IS THIS?**" he cried in disgust.

"Sweetbread," Mist replied.

"I know that! But what's it _made from_?"

"It's actually an organ from—" Mordecai began to explain, but that was all Soren needed to hear before coming to a conclusion.

"YUCK! I can't believe I ate an organ from some animal!"

Oscar was about to say something about eating meat, but quickly decided against it. "What else you got?" he said instead.

"Let's see… they're big on chocolate, caramel apples, meats marinated in various sweets, and candy bones," said Ike.

"Candy bones?" Marcia repeated nervously.

"Yes. It's a type of hard candy that we like to gnaw on during Halloween. They have different flavors from various mixtures of fruit. I really enjoy the pear and banana flavor," said Mordecai as he took out said flavor and began to gnaw on it happily.

"Hey, guess what!" called Ranulf. He waved a slip of paper excitedly. "We're invited to join a Halloween bash with the locals! Everyone's invited, provided that you don't say anything to offend them…"

"A party? I would like to go!" said Rhys.

"Ok, just don't forget about your customary laguz ears and tails!" Before they arrived to the village days ago, they were provided with fake ears and tails to help them pass off as members of the beast tribe. They also had to paint their faces with markings, which they applied everyday before leaving the base. So far, no one has been harassed by the laguz yet.

Everyone was happy about going to a party except for Soren. He would normally go to one if everyone else was going, but a laguz party was out of the question! No way in a million years!

"C'mon, Soren! Don't be a party-pooper!" said Nephenee.

"No! Over my cold, dead body!" Soren sat cross-legged on the floor with his arms folded across his chest.

"He's afraid that he might run into his parents there," smirked Volke.

Soren gave the thief the Evil Eye, Lethe began to snicker at Soren, and everyone else didn't get it.

Deciding to press further, the strange little thief said "You mean he didn't tell you guys? Hn… Probably because since he's a racist, he didn't want to mention the slightest that's he's part…YEOW!" Volke jumped a mile high with his backside on fire. Soren smirked darkly as he held out a fire tome and was proceeding to give him a hotfoot.

"Keep talking and I will roast your carcass."

Volke stopped, dropped, and rolled to put out the flames. Everyone else carried on their business about how much fun the party will be.

* * *

"Are you certain that there's nothing that could change your mind?" asked Titania.

"For the last time, _yes_!" Soren growled.

"If you're staying behind, remember to give out candy to the little trick-or-treaters. If you don't… Well, let's not go there. Oh, and don't forget to keep your laguz ears and tail on. Even the little kids discriminate against beorcs, you know," said Ranulf.

"I've got to give out _candy_ to these brats?"

"Or pay the price."

"Crap."

Everyone bid their farewells, leaving an angry Soren behind with a bowl of laguz candy. As soon as they left, Soren immediately thought up a nasty trick; eat all the candy so that the laguz kids can't get any. He looked at the candy bones and sweetbread, which caused his stomach to give a horrible lurch. _If I were to consume this wretched sub-human candy, then I'll be bedridden for years!_ He threw off the ears and pulled off the tail, then set the candy on the table. He picked up a good book and began to read. What a nice, relaxing evening…

Don, don, don!

"Trick or treeeat!" meowed tiny voices.

Soren's icy heart melted at the sound of the kids. They sound so cute! It suddenly dawned on him that they're in Gallia and that the trick-or-treaters are laguz. Filthy, smelly laguz! He got up and slammed the door open, then glared down at the kids.

"What do you want?"

The kids held up their bags and looked up at him with cutesy little kiddy kitty eyes.

"Hey! You're a beorc!" called one kid.

"So what if I am? You're going to gnaw on my leg or something?"

"No…" said another kid. "But it's Halloween and you got candy, right?"

"I'm not handing over candy to you lot! Besides, it's nasty tasting."

The kids looked at one another and got an evil idea…

Later, Soren was hanging upside-down in a tree while only in his birthday suit and had raw chicken eggs thrown at him.

"Darn you, sub-humans! Ouch! Hey! Knock it off or I'll knock your block off!"

"Beorc or not, you must give candy on Halloween, you big meanie!"

"Yeah! It's an ironclad rule, girly-boy!"

"I bet all the laguz tribes and all the beorcs in the entire world will come and join forces to play pranks on you for not giving out candy, poopy-head!" What did you expect them to say? Racist remarks regarding beorcs? Hey, they're just little kids, through and through.

The kids left with all his clothes, leaving poor Soren stuck upside-down in a tree, covered in raw, cold egg yolks. It was dripping all over his freezing body and all in his long, jet black hair that's starting to get tangled from having him being tied by his feet. The branch decided to break at that point, which allowed him to get down. The bad thing was that he was upside-down, which caused him to kiss dirt and to curse aloud.

Soren quickly undid his bondage and sprinted back to the base . He didn't know how long this lasted and didn't know whether there were any more demon children that were out for his blood. He finally got inside and was heading to his room to find some clothes to put on when he heard a knock at the front door. Frustrated with the person that dared to keep him from getting clothed, Soren march to the door with a flagon of chilled water. He swung the door open and promptly threw the water at the hapless trick-or-treater.

"Trick-or—WAH!" cried the girl.

"Get lost, you half-wit cat!"

The girl wiped the water from her face and saw Soren, then she quickly covered her eyes.

"Oh, my! I guess being the helpful-hint girl has its advantages!"

"Helpful… hint girl?"

"Let me introduce myself… after you get dressed, cutie!" winked the girl.

* * *

Sitting in the armchair, Soren was wearing some of Brom's clothing. They were going to do laundry the next day and the only one with clothes that he could wear were Brom's.

"I'm Anna and I've been to all sorts of places! Why were you going around au natural, unless that was your Halloween costume?"

"Those evil brats stole them after I refused them candy."

"Ahhh, that's no fun! Let me have some, please?"

Soren passed the stalker the bowl and pondered an idea. He noticed a bale of hay and a goofy straw hat hanging on the rack that belonged to someone who had left it behind ages ago. He got up and left Anna behind.

"Hey! Where are you going?" whined Anna.

Soren went outside a few minutes later with the hat and faux laguz ears and tail on, a sack, and was stuffed with the hay. Might as well do some trick-or-treating! It wasn't until awfully late at night did Soren return back to the base. He had an overflowing sack of candy and he was beat. As he opened the door, he was startled by Mist.

"Where have you been, Mister!" she scolded the mage.

"Out, what's it to you?" he replied.

"Ike! Soren's back and he's being sassy!" she tattled.

The commander walked in and looked down at the latecomer. "You should have left a note saying where you went! We got back a few hours ago and Mist was worried sick about you!"

"Ok, ok… Sheesh! Can't I have _some_ fun once in a while?" Soren rolled his eyes in an annoyed manner.

"By the way, did you happen to see the beorc completely tied up by the backdoor? I don't know who she was, but she was pretty distressed," said Oscar. "I've no idea who did that, but we can't get the knots undone."

Soren checked on the beorc the squinting cavalier had mentioned and was attempting to suppress a grin. The person was clothed (thank goodness), but was covered in raw eggs and chicken feathers. It was none other the annoying hint girl, Anna!

"Let's leave her outside with the jack-o'-lanterns for the night," said Soren as he attempted to drag her outside the base.

****

FIN


End file.
